an explanation of energetic behavior

i started this post with the intention of going into length about the anatomy of demonic behavior and quickly realized that i was getting ahead of myself as there are aspects of energy and its behavior and nature that must be explained before the anatomy of demonic behavior will start to make sense, so ill begin with a brief overview about how i came to understand all of this and then i will move into an explanation of how energy flows in the universe.

a bathtub in the kitchen of the infirmary building at Pennhurst State School

i have always been fascinated with the paranormal. i think my fascination began when i was a little tot. during family functions, when the whole family would get together, we would revel in stories of the past, talking about my great aunt’s fascination with astrology and the paranormal. when my mums and her siblings (all 7 of them) were children, along with the even larger family of my great aunt, they would all gather around a custom made dining table meant to fit both of these irish catholic families and contact the dead through a “game” called “up table.” when they played this “game,” they would ask spirits questions and the table would lift off the floor and come back down, once for no, twice for yes. keep in mind that this table was massive. it was meant to feed about 17 people and so getting this solid wood table to lift off the floor was a feat in itself. as i recall, when they moved they had to leave the table as there was no way to get it out of the house without breaking it into pieces and pulling it apart. i also recall evenings with my friends and cousins with a ouija board and “light as a feather stiff as a board.” if i knew then what i know now, sheesh.

the Archuleta Mesa as seen from the east of the mesa, looking west, traveling down U.S. highway 64 in New Mexico.

as i grew into adulthood, i was experiencing the effects that the paranormal can have on the living, but at the time, i didn't know that this is what i was experiencing. although i was dealing with the effects of the paranormal from my conception, it wasn’t until i turned 19 that the effects of the paranormal became much more obvious and intense. to most, this would be when i began experiencing more apparent symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. after about a decade of living life as a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, i came to understand schizophrenia in a very different way than when i was first diagnosed. i imagine i will post a more comprehensive blog post about the nature of schizophrenia at a later date. i mention all of this because it was the struggle with my mental health issues that led me to ultimately understand the nature of energetic behavior and many other concepts. it took me 10 years of experiencing these paranormal influences that came with overwhelming pain, suffering, and bizarre happenings filled with repeating patterns and hallmark moments that lead me to understand these topics as i do now.

the doorway to a day room for patients in the infirmary building at Pennhurst State School. a side note: i did not document any activity on my R.E.M. pod while investigating this specific location in the infirmary building.

i think from here, it is best to get into an explanation on how the natural flow of universal energies works. let us start with the wisdom that “energy attracts like energy.” upon this we can build onto more complex understandings about energy and energetic entities like the parasites known to most as demons. lets say there is a bunch of positive energy floating all around us like the smell of a flower’s perfume in the air. well this positive energy is going to attract more positive energy because “energy attracts like energy.” so, where there is positive energy, more positive energy will be attracted to that location. this concept is the same with negative energy. where there is negative energy, more negative energy will be attracted to that location because “energy attracts like energy.” this concept can explain many different things that we all experience in our daily lives. two examples of this can be illustrated here as a dark thought downward spiral in our conscious minds, and something known as a gratitude list. a gratitude list exercise is something i learned going through the S.M.A.R.T. recovery program when i entered into addiction recovery when i was 28. there are many different versions and names for this exercise depending on where one may have learned this exercise, but essentially they all work in the same way. a gratitude list exercise is useful when we are spiraling downwards in our minds, through dark tunnel of negative thoughts that just gets darker and darker the longer the spiraling goes on.

a bathroom in the infirmary building of Pennhurst State School. notice the restraints on the toilet seats. patients (oftentimes children with developmental disabilities) were forgotten in the bathrooms, still restrained to the toilets. sometimes many hours would pass before the staff would remember the patients and take them off the toilet

it can be very easy for someone to have one negative thought. say this thought sounds to us like “i'm not good enough.” now the electrical impulse of this thought is moving around in the cerebral cortex of our brains, zipping hither and tither along various neural pathways, being passed from one neuron to another to make it to different processing centers in our brains. this tiny little impulse can lead to a profound effect on us. this is because this tiny little electrical impulse of energy is, in fact, negative energy. this tiny impulse of a thought is how negative thought spiraling is born. because energy attracts like energy, this one negative thought created with negative energy is now going to start attracting more negativity to it. so, one thought that sounds like “i'm not good enough” becomes two negative thoughts “im not good enough,” and now “i’m unattractive to other people.” and then these two negative thoughts, made of negative energy will attract more negative energy, and suddenly the negative energy that created these two thoughts has doubled and is now producing two more negative thoughts and pretty quickly we are now thinking, “i'm not good enough,” “i'm unattractive,” “i'm not smart like other people” and “i’m not funny like my friends.” can you see the spiral begin to form?

the pedestrian bridge that connects the infirmary building to the now collapsed hospital building at Pennhurst State School

this process typically begins and starts growing in size and intensity before most of us are even aware of what is unfolding. this process progresses to the point where our perception becomes overwhelmingly negative and all of our thoughts have become tainted by this negative perception that the negative energy creates. for the sake of keeping this shorter, we shall consider the universal wisdom that all situations, persons, places, etc. are neutral and have both positive and negative energy contained within. i will post more about this wisdom later. a negative perception will be a perception in which one can only see the negative side to all situations, people, places etc. the lower the vibrational frequency becomes, the more negative the energy becomes. the higher vibrational frequencies (positive energy) that we usually see, without the influence of spiraling negativity, become invisible to us. all that remains of what we see and feel becomes only the lower, more negative vibrations.

Lady Basecamp getting towed out of a sticky situation at the base of the Archuleta Mesa

this negative energy manifests into the physical plane as accidents and mishaps. we will only see the negative side of the situations we encounter. we will feel uncomfortable and off balance within ourselves as if we forgot to do something but can’t remember what and we may even experience physical symptoms of illness. we will be more anxious, stressed, frustrated and quick to anger because without the ability to see and feel the higher vibrations (positive energy) there is nothing to balance us out and we all have our breaking point when the scale tips to far into the darkness. we will also feel exhausted and low energy when we experience a spiraling negativity event. in our mental bodies, we might experience thought patterns that will cause us to get fixated on things we have no control over. when we are focused on trying to change something we will never be able to change, the only product of this thought process will be suffering, because we will never be able to accomplish anything. the higher vibrations of rational and logical thought would not be visible or feel-able to us therefore we become less rational and logical and end up hyper-fixated on things that will only be irrational and illogical to focus on. we will assume the worst in people and many times jump to conclusions in situations. we will only see the dark side of people, as the best sides of people (which is higher vibrations) become invisible to us. we stop seeking the truth and instead turn to emotionally fueled assumption. so much fun!

on a lighter note, heh, the plus side to all of this is that just as negativity can seep in and taint our thoughts and perceptions to force us into only seeing and feeling the negative, the same can happen with positivity and positive energy. woot! using a gratitude list to flood the negative spiral with positive energy will allow us to start seeing and feeling the higher vibrations again because as more positive energy fills the space within and around us, the once invisible higher frequencies of energy start to phase back into our perception and we begin to feel more balanced, which corrects all of the negative symptoms we were feeling before. suddenly, a situation that seemed like a no options, dead-end, game over scenario now has more possible options to consider because those options are higher in vibration and therefore were invisible before during our dark spiral but now is seen and felt and is tangible to us as we become more aware of those higher vibrations.

the doorway from the infirmary building to the now collapsed hospital building at Pennhurst State School

by creating and thinking about a list of all the things that we are grateful for, we can stop the growth of negative energy and counter it by pulling in positivity instead. the energy of gratitude is made from some of the highest possible vibrational frequencies. by entertaining thoughts that include the vibration of gratitude, we can start replacing the negative energy in our minds with positive energy. just as negative energy attracts more negative energy, when we start forming thoughts made of higher-vibrational energy, it will start attracting more positive energy. when we spend time actively thinking about things we are grateful for, this starts a chain reaction where each high-vibrational thought of gratitude starts to attract more positive energy and as the cloud of positive energy grows, more positive energy is attracted to it creating growth more quickly. this growth in positivity causes the cloud of negative energy to start dissipating because our thoughts are no longer negative and therefore the negativity is no longer attracted to them. as more and more positive energy builds up, the negativity continues to dissipate until there is no negative energy left and all that remains is positivity. the ability to see the light side of life, if you will. in practice, i have used a gratitude list so many times i have lost count. to date, using a gratitude list has ALWAYS brought me out of my downward spiral. sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes is well over a half an hour before i feel back to my normally functioning self, but no matter the situation or what i was dealing with, i am always able to correct this energetic imbalance in my mental body. with that said, it takes time to form the new habit of considering the energy of gratitude when we feel ourselves sliding down into the darkness. it can be very difficult to remember to do that when we are so exhausted from suffering and only getting further into it. the more negativity we experience the less rational we become. the less rational we become, the harder it is to see a rational solution. as with every habit we have ever learned it is important to remain patient with ourselves when we make mistakes and to also remain perseverant in our endeavors to learn newer and healthier habits. it is also vital to celebrate every step we make on this road to healthier ways, no matter how big or small the step may be. we must remind ourselves often that we are one step closer to our goals and one step further away from not having moved at all. life can be a celebration if we choose to let it be. i use the exercise of a gratitude list as an example of how energy attracts like energy however this rule can be applied to many different aspects of our lives.

a full spectrum, long exposure photograph of the Archuleta Mesa north of Dulce, NM at night

this brings me to another wisdom, one i have already somewhat touched upon previously. “where there is negative energy, negative things will happen.” this is also true with positive energy, in that “where there is positive energy, positive things will happen.” this wisdom has been one of my greatest tools out on the open road hunting ghosts and demons and aliens OH MY! learning how to identify the manifestation of negative energy on the physical plane has helped me to know where to point my camera lens, MEL meter, and other equipment. this wisdom has also been vital to helping me understand what sort of mess i’ve gotten myself into after i really piss off a bunch of cranky ETs who didn’t really want to be known generally due to their TOTALLY ETHICAL & MORAL behavior…. (thats my sarcasm at its finest… if it didn’t come across). it turns out they have the ability to manipulate energy just like demons do, and it was in identifying the physical manifestations of the negativity that was put around me that helped me to find a solution to that problem and release the negativity i was experiencing by cleansing myself of the connection between myself and the galactic cranky-pop guild of dulce, NM. when we are seeing and feeling negative things happening, that means we are surrounded by negative energy. i find when there is negativity around, i will stub my toe, or perhaps bang my elbow on something, or maybe a cup or plate will drop and break. these physical manifestations along with emotional and mental manifestations like, panic, anger, stress, having dark thoughts, getting hyper focused on things we can’t control and other negative thought processes are manifestations of intense low vibrational energy.

the front doors of Pennhurst State School

once, due to a parasitic entity influence, i fell down a half a flight of cement stairs on my hind end at a LIRR train station. in the context of finding the “den” of a demon in a building, it will usually be the room where the most goes wrong. perhaps the water heater breaks in the basement, and then the furnace stops working and so on and so forth. during the investigation i conducted at the Pennhurst State School outside of philadelphia, PA it was very clear on one part of the massive property where the negative things were happening and where some low vibrational entities were located. one can look at the infirmary and hospital buildings and clearly see that the hospital building was housing some very dark negativity as it had mostly collapsed where as the infirmary building right next to it and even connected by a pedestrian bridge was still standing and largely still structurally sound. this became further clear to me as i only felt some very dark negativity in two places on the entire campus. the first place i felt an overwhelming darkness was in the tunnel system underground that connected all the buildings on the campus. the second place i felt this overwhelming darkness was from the hospital building. the entire time i was in the infirmary building, by myself at about 1am in the morning i didn’t feel any negativity and i was not holding any fear within that building. i spent about an hour in that building shooting photos, and conducting paranormal experiments. the only time i felt an overwhelming darkness was when i passed the door that opened to the pedestrian bridge that connected the infirmary building to the hospital building. i felt like something was watching me and i would experience dark thoughts and weird heavy sensations on my physical body and goosebumps. i felt very uncomfortable being anywhere near the ruins of the hospital building. come to find out, the hospital building is where the more extreme medical practices happened, like electro-shock and other surgical type procedures that were more about experimenting than the health of the patient. i would imagine the demonic entities that roamed these grounds devoured the energy produced by the suffering of these patients.

Old Alton Bridge (Goatman’s Bridge)

another example of how “where there is negative energy negative things happen” can be an experience i encountered at the old alton bridge (or goattman’s bridge) outside of dallas, TX. when i first arrived there, i made the mistake of going to explore the location before i put my protections up around the van, lady basecamp. when i returned from my exploring, i had found that The Captain Fantastic had peed on my bed. now, its important to understand that prior to this event as well as all of the time following this event up to now, The Captain Fantastic has never gone to the bathroom outside of her litter box. from the time i got her at 8 weeks old up until now, the only time she has chosen to pee or poop outside of her litter box was at the old alton bridge. when i saw this had happened, my first instinct was an overwhelming anger. i was shaking with it. i had to step outside and smoke a cigarette to calm myself down and during that smoke break, my guides came to me to shed some clarity over the situation informing me that this was a demonic attack and to put my protections in place. so i did just that. i put my protections around the van and then cleaned up The Captain Fantastic’s little accident. after that we had no more issues within lady basecamp and the captain using the bathroom anywhere besides her litter box.

two orbs captured at The Old Alton Bridge

in talking about The Captain Fantastic, i will provide another example of how negativity can be identified by negative things in the physical plane. The Captain Fantastic does not shed in the same way other cats do. typically, she only sheds when she is feeling a lot of anxiety and stress but otherwise does not shed at all. because of this, she does not throw up hairballs the way other cats do. in fact, she has never thrown up outside of one specific scenario. i have performed 13 exorcisms to date, some on myself and some on others. after performing these ceremonies later on, after The Captain Fantastic entered my life, i would finish up and come home and go through a cleansing process on myself to disconnect myself from any negativity hanging onto me after the ceremony as an exorcism can be a messy ordeal leaving a significant amount of negativity around. i combat this by cleansing the space i performed the ceremony as well as all of my tools and myself. since The Captain Fantastic came into the picture, she has thrown up after every single exorcism i have performed. this type of situation is the only time she throws up, and it always happens as some point in the night after i perform a ceremony. her behavior can change as well. i’ve noticed that after i get home after performing a ceremony, some of her hallmark negative energy moves are to biting electric cords (something she doesn’t normally do ever) and she will also make attempts to jump up onto my alter at home. typically, she completely ignores my alter, as if it’s not there, but when there is significant negativity around, she will go out of her way to try and get up to it. in the end, as i cleanse our space and time passes, the negativity fades and she goes back to ignoring power cords and my alter.

The Captain Fantastic and her diligent watch for spiritual tomfoolery

one last example of this can be seen when i encountered a very dark and very powerful entity attached to someone while i was on the road. i won’t get to into what happened on the road, as i will have an entire blog post later on that will talk at length about what happened. instead, i will talk about a situation that happened after i returned from the road. i found that maintaining a line of communication with this person became detrimental to my wellbeing as this connected me to the entity as well. this entity also viewed me as a threat and did not want me to be connected to this person. i believe this is also the reason it went so far out of its way to attack me so severely. for this reason, i had distanced myself from this person. i decided to try and reach out to this person after they sent me a couple messages, but first attempting to make this connection in an intelligent way by going above and beyond to protect myself before i responded to this persons messages. after i responded to this person, in the night that followed, i ended up having violent nightmares about my family members trying to kill me as they made fun of me for trying to protect myself and i barely got any sleep. the next morning my day started out on the exact wrong foot. i woke up tired, cranky, and in a very dark headspace. by the afternoon i was questioning my value, slowly sinking into a very sudden and intense depression. by the evening i had become legitimately suicidal and into the night began hearing people outside of my apartment windows talking about me. this is something that hasn’t happened to me since i went through numerous exorcisms on myself. after i got some sleep that night the next day it was like nothing was wrong, i slept well, felt great and was full of energy. this was a night and day comparison to the day before which i never left my couch. it occurred to me that the negativity being sent through this connection between myself and this person was the cause for this random and intense attack. since then, i have severed all communication with this person until i can figure out how to properly address the problem without putting myself or The Captain Fantastic in harms way. i will also say, The Captain Fantastic also made multiple attempts at my alter that day.

in the examples i provided, one can see how the physical manifestation of negative energy on the physical plane can look like accidents happening, or hitting various body parts that create intense pain. one can also see how negativity can affect someones emotional body and mental body as well. i suppose this is a good a time as any to wrap things up. i will be posting again shortly on another related topic so please stay tuned for more PARANORMALinSANTIY!